From expectation to Reality of parenthood, 1 year on.

It was a year that literary begun on a high, a height whose magnitude I would never understand, a height of mixed emotions, experiments here and there, a height of fear of the unknown in a world that’s written uncertainty allover it. I am relieved to have conquered this year. There are more to come but for sure, this one was special. Special because of it’s rich content, rich membership and rich experience.

When Leo and Samara came into our lives, it was obviously double bundles of joy and blessings. Double blessings that called for double responsibilities, attention and other provisions. Their arrival came with no major complications to report despite an earlier medical scare. They arrived home after some 9 days after delivery, which marked the onset of routine that will forever change my life.

I must confess one thing before I can proceed. A mother is the strongest and most courageous person you will ever come across. Motherly instincts are one of the best gifts of nature without which life becomes meaningless. This I experienced first-hand, of course, from my wife. I noticed a remarkable change in attitude, confidence and zeal. Despite the fatigue that came with the entire process as evident, she had a new breath of life and freshness. A lioness ready to protect and nourish her cubs at all cost, you would say.

My routine made a complete turn. Nothing near what I had expected. As a father it was always my turn whenever one of the babies cried, mostly at night. Listen, a baby’s cry hits deeper than the sound of an alarm clock, it is so sharp that it pierces your ear while you sleep, and as if that’s not enough, it may join you in your dream. I had to learn how to rock a baby, walking with him/her to almost every corner of the room, tapping their back gently, trying to remember the most soothing baby songs I knew. And hey, I gave them their first ever home bath, not like I had ever done it before to learn how it’s done, but I surprised myself too, call it quest for attachment, I mean fathers always play catch-up as far as this is concerned, it was my style and for sure it has paid well, were it not for the affection we shared in their early days, probably things would have been different, by things I mean attachment levels.

All these hard work paid dividends almost on a daily basis. I could make new observations as they came, right from smiling, eye contact communication, grabbing, giggling among others. How fulfilling this was. When baby responds to you as the caretaker, the feeling is out of any imagination. A little version you may be stubborn but a source of great joy at the same time.

Babies are totally different especially if they’re of different sexes. Despite being twins, they’re of completely different behaviours and developmental milestones. This I had to learn to help me stop unnecessary subjective comparisons. As a parent, you’re always tempted to question why one child is not behaving like the other, especially as toddlers but the realization that they’re completely different will reduce the worry.

From my experience during the one year that has been, a girl is extremely alert and very keen on what happens in the surrounding. They always observe details and are very particular at the things they want or play with. This is proof that at the same toddler age, they are way more mentally active and sharp compared to their male counterparts. They are very protective and always seeking there dad’s attention which got me thinking that Sigmund Freud could have been right in his analysis after all. Even so, they’re comparatively less playful.

For the boy, energy and activism is everything. Here expect play like never before, everything he sees is a toy he must play with. Because of his high level of activism, the appetite for food is equally high, to compensate for the high amount of energy needed. Key for them is mum’s breast milk which they grow fond of and become very protective of. That no one should interfere with their access to breast milk no matter the case.

All goes relatively well till todlers realise they have limbs to move around with. This becomes a very encouraging development but care must also be taken on where they move to, what they touch or play with. I’ve had to be super cautious and alert while with them. They are curious with virtually everything which is good for their development but it comes with extreme monitoring, so I learnt.

They play with one another and more often than not, it ends in premium tears πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. There’s always one who wants to dominate by taking all the toys and play with them alone. Aggressiveness to them is part of the game, one thinks hiting the other is fine and laughs about it. I have to intervene most of the times. Engaging them in some form of dispute resolution which they learn but forget the next minute, it’s all I do most of the time.

Good news is that they’re now able to sleep all night long with minimal disturbance if any. Ironically, the fun is in the stubbornness. When baby gets dull and bored, you should be very worried as parent. This too I came to learn and the lessons never end.

The dilemma in the room though is a concern over their language development. This is a bit of a unique household where 5 different languages are spoken. This I’ve given up on, I’d like nature to take its course, well aware not all the languages will be dominant, it will be interesting to know how everything will end up. Research has shown that toddlers can learn up to 4 languages simultaneously, this is only an ideal situation, it may never happen.

It’s a happy first birthday for them, and nothing matches the joy of growing up and learning together with a twin sibling. It is never boring in spite of the fights and querals over toys and attention.

Happiest birthday my little cuties, to many more.

11 thoughts on “From expectation to Reality of parenthood, 1 year on.

  1. Aw you are such a writer dad bear.we love and appreciate you for been a full time dad and husband .love you.

  2. Wow Cecile, let me commend you and Cerah on choosing such beautiful names for two beautiful angels on earth…Leo and Samara, very beautiful in deed.
    Let me also commend you on being a present father to your children and enjoying your role.
    Parenting is beautiful but it could be challenging at times, I love how beautifully written this post is. The sky is surely the limit.
    Happy birthday to the twins, may God’s favor and grace cover them all the days of their lives.
    I’m so proud of you and Cerah. Keep at it!

  3. Congrats Duke Of Katito – your first year as a father seemed to have been quite the journey, happy birthday to the duo. And a special congratulations to the mum for all her courage to protect and cater for her cubs. Now as we wait for the next duo in a years time, consider writing about the amazing Cerah.

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